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Stop Messing Up Your Morning

Earlier this year, I participated in a seven-day silent retreat at Spirit Rock in California. Silence, meditation, no phones. Just 50 people not looking at or talking to each other—and all of us giving up our devices at the start of the week.

At the end of our retreat, we didn’t just snatch our phones to gasp at the hundreds of notifications, messages, beeps, and blips that we missed. Instead, we were asked to lie flat on our back and place one hand on our chest and one hand on our phones.

That exercise showed exactly what happened when we were re-connected with our devices. Our heart rates increased. And we could feel it in real time.

We hadn’t even turned them on yet, but the anticipation of seeing what was knocking on our digital door caused some anxiety—literally manifested through sweat and faster thumps of our hearts. 

This was an extreme example, of course, because we were away from our phones for so long, but isn’t this experience akin to what we experience every day? Wake up, doom-scroll, check messages and news alerts, and let it all simmer in our minds, etc… During that process, we get inundated with the static of life, rather than seeing a clear signal.

Imagine letting hundreds of people into your bedroom while you’re still in your pajamas—it’s chaotic, invasive, and mentally exhausting. That’s exactly what happens when you start your day by reaching for your smartphone. Flooding your brain with information right after waking up triggers stress and anxiety, setting a negative tone for the day.

So maybe we all need to take a beat and think of ways to start the day with more clarity, intention, and purpose. Clear the static.

By watching the sunrise.

By stretching or meditating.

By taking a cold shower or a warm cup of tea.

With meaningful hugs, kisses, and acts of kindness. 

Let’s celebrate all the wonderful things that digital innovation has improved our lives, but maybe—as a challenge for yourself this month—let’s also talk about ways to replace one habit with another that enriches and inspires you.

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Quote I Love

Digital Detox on Your Terms

Digital detoxes can be a lot like flossing or cleaning out dryer vents. You know it’s something you should do, but it can be darn hard to actually make it a habit.

Of course, there’s no one way to put regular distance between your phone and your thumbs, and I certainly can’t tell you that X way works, Y way doesn’t, and don’t even try the Z way. Everybody has different responsibilities, stresses, approaches, and preferences, so the point isn’t that these detoxes are like rain ponchos: one size fits all. Instead, practice perpetual experimentation and see what may work for you.

Some ideas:

• Charge your phone outside of your bedroom—and practice not checking your phone until you’ve done something else for yourself.

• Take one day a week where you stay off of your phone (Sundays can work well for a lot of people).

• Have everyone in your family put phones away at all meals, and call it something positive, like a “phone spa,” where our phones can recharge and enjoy a break too.

• Experiment with a new hobby to help feed your desire for dopamine. You may find it easier to stay away from your phone when your hands, eyes, and mind are engaged with golf, gardening, or grinding up a mountain trail.  

I’ve started integrating digital detoxes more (I’m doing the morning method and the Sunday off day), and I find it’s helped me in so many ways. I think more clearly and, frankly, I’m in a better mood—because I’m spending the time doing other things that enrich my life.

Reading the Room

When I’m in a waiting room, I’ll often pick up a magazine from the bottom of the pile. I try to find issues that I would have no interest in reading—maybe a children’s comic, or one focused on fishing, or some other subject I don’t particularly gravitate toward. 

In those pages, I explore for nuggets of knowledge I would never encounter otherwise. After all, you never know what you might find and how it could apply to your own life. It’s an example of the compulsive curiosity I try to bring to my life, even in the moments that might seem mundane.

In fact, as we’re thinking about digital detoxes, I often take a printed (gasp!) magazine with me when I unwind in a sauna. One, it’s an escape from the constant feed of my phone. Two, there’s something special about a neatly packaged product designed to deliver a finite amount of information and entertainment—with natural boundaries. A beginning, an end, much to explore in between.

As you consider ways to integrate a digital detox into your own life, try this: If you don’t already, subscribe to one printed magazine on the subject that you love: travel, wine, gardening, fashion, business, you name it. It’s a way to enrich your mind—in a way that pumps the brakes on the digital autobahn that your phone has most likely become.

Can You See Your Future?

As I think about how I can best help you think about your future, I’d love to get you feedback on what concerns you, what excites you, and what you’re confused about when it comes to your own life. 

I’d appreciate it if you could take this three-question survey.

Let me know your digital detox practice. Respond to this email, and I may share your experience in a future NextLetter. My new book, What’s Next is Now, is available now.

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