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A Better Relationship with Your Future

A Better Relationship with Your Future

Frederik Pferdt
March 14, 2025

Prefer to listen 🎧 > click here.

Hello 🌄 friends,

"The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives."

That’s what Esther Perel, world renown psychotherapist said as I sat down with her and Amy Webb (Futurist) on a big stage at SXSW. It felt like a blind date with the future. I added the question:

"What’s our relationship with the future?"

We had never met before, yet there we were—thousands of people watching—as we explored one of the biggest questions of all.

We often treat the future like something to predict or control—a fixed outcome waiting to happen. But what if we saw it as a relationship instead?

Think about it. Curiosity keeps a relationship alive. Expectations can limit it. And participation makes it grow. The same is true for our future.

ONE QUESTION TO REFLECT ON

What if we started building a better relationship with our future?

We often treat the future as something to predict, control, or fear. But what if we stopped trying to pin it down and started engaging with it? What if the future wasn’t a fixed outcome, but a dynamic relationship—one shaped by curiosity, participation, and openness to new possibilities?

TWO PERSPECTIVES ON YOUR FUTURE

Why We Rely on Predictions

We like predictions because they make us feel safe. Studies show that when people receive a medical diagnosis—even a bad one—they often feel relieved compared to those left in uncertainty. Not knowing triggers anxiety. The brain prefers certainty over the unknown, even if that certainty isn’t good news. This is why we try to predict the future—to create a sense of control. But the problem is, when we rely too much on predictions, we stop questioning, exploring, and noticing new possibilities. We assume we already know, and in doing so, we might miss something better.

The Power of Participation

A strong relationship isn’t built on certainty—it’s built on engagement. The same is true for our future. Instead of predicting it, we should participate in it.

Think about a big decision—like moving to a new city. You can try to predict whether it’s the right place for you by reading articles, analyzing neighborhood trends, and comparing cost-of-living charts. But no amount of research will tell you how it feels to walk its streets, hear its sounds, or wake up there in the morning.

Predictions create an illusion of certainty, but they can’t replace real experience. The only way to know is to participate—spend a weekend there, explore its rhythm, and see if it excites you.

When we stop worrying about where we’ll be in five years, we start asking better questions and exploring new options. When we stop fearing uncertainty, we see it as an opportunity to create. When we let go of rigid plans, we become more flexible and open to what unfolds.

ONE EXPERIMENT GROUNDING FOR UNCERTAIN MOMENTS

Anne-Laure Le Cunff, founder of Ness Labs, studies how small actions shape the way we think and feel about the future. She calls them tiny experiments—not as a way to predict what works, but to participate in possibilities.

This week, try one way to participate in your future before deciding on it:

Thinking about a career change? Instead of endlessly scrolling job boards, grab coffee with someone in that field and ask what their day actually looks like.
Considering moving to a new city? Don’t just research the best neighborhoods—book a stay, take the local commute, and see if it feels like home.
Unsure about your next step? Instead of waiting for clarity, say yes to something unexpected this week and notice how it makes you feel.

Your future isn’t something to figure out—it’s something to engage with.

THE FUTURE IS HOW - NEW EPISODE

On the latest episode of The Future is HOW, I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with my dear friend Kalle Ryan—an award-winning writer, poet, and creative force behind Poetic.

We explored the power of storytelling, the role of creativity in shaping our lives, and even the unforgettable tale of Bringing Batman to Work. But beyond the conversation itself, I’m deeply grateful for the time we got to spend together—sharing ideas, laughter, and a vision for a more creative and connected future.

Listen to The Future Is How
with Kalle Ryan & Frederik

Kalle, your way with words and your ability to inspire others never ceases to amaze me. Thank you for sharing your brilliance, your warmth, and your stories.

If you’re looking for a fresh perspective on creativity and storytelling, this episode is one you won’t want to miss!

🎧 Listen here

ZUKUNFTSGEIST-TOUR & GERMAN BOOK

🔥 The Zukunftsgeist Tour is already packed in some cities! If you still wanna join, book your tickets here.

If you want to spark a better relationship with your future, my book in German: Radikal Besser just hit #1 New Release on amazon.de! 🚀 Get your copy and ignite your Zukunftsgeist today here.

— With future love,

Frederik

P.S. If this spoke to you, pass it along. Someone else might need it too.